Wordless Wednesday

Taking the Epidural

So, I opted to take the epidural for birth this time. When it came down to it, I really didn't want to. But even more than that, I didn't want to end up under general anesthesia if we needed to do an emergency c-section for Graham. And since he wasn't locked into place in my uterus, there was no telling what position he'd move into, once he had the whole thing to himself. Which meant it was entirely possible I'd end up in last-minute surgery.

I asked about placing the epidural line but not taking any meds through it until we determined a c-section to be necessary. I was told that by the time we know if one is necessary, they wouldn't be able to get me from a no-anethesia level, to a level acceptable for surgery, fast enough - I would need a base level of anesthetic in my system already. And two, without running a dose of meds, they wouldn't have verification that the line was in the proper place to deliver the medicine.

So I took the very minimum: the line went into place just moments before I started pushing, and the doctor injected two syringes of medicine through the line. He didn't connect a drip to the line, so there was no additional medicine going in. And since I waited until the pushing phase, I didn't have to have a catheter placed during labor (they did use a single-use catheter to empty my bladder when I was struggling to push effectively for Grant - but it wasn't one that stayed in).

Pushing with an epidural was completely different. Did it subsue some of the pain? Yes. Was it helpful? I'm not convinced it was. I don't regret the decision, because I wanted to be awake for both births. But I think pushing took a lot longer with the epidural. Even though I could feel my uterus contracting, and I still had full control of my legs ... I felt like my brain couldn't communicate with the muscles I needed to use, to push. The unmedicated, urgent sense of pushing that I have felt previously, was just not there. I think without the epidural, it would not have taken an hour to push out the first - and another 40 minutes for the second. (Though some of that time can be chalked up to two face-up boys who got caught on my pelvic bone a little.)

So, that's that. It certainly is a personal decision, and I'm just glad that I have very open communication with my midwives, which I feel allowed me to really experience birth the way I wanted to experience it, without endangering the babies. And at the end of the day, I think that's what childbirth should be about. Just don't ask me to do it again. That door has closed!

Birth Story for Grant and Graham

Since I've documented the other two births, I need to capture this one, too.

As I posted last Thursday, I was really not feeling myself. I think my body was shutting down. After more than 24 hours of period-like cramping (but no bleeding or fluid to accompany ... and therefore not on the checklist of "things to call the doctor about"), I finally went into labor around lunchtime on Thursday.

11:30 a.m. - Lunch at home with Carter and E, and about the time I first felt an actual contraction.

12:30 p.m. - Jack was getting last-minute things in order for us to leave for my BPP and doctor appointment, knowing we might leave directly from the doctor's office for an induction. He asks if I've timed my contractions. I haven't.

1:00 p.m. - My contractions are every 4-5 minutes. Jack's aunt and cousin arrive to watch the kids for my appointment, and we hurry out the door. Jack convinces me to call the doctor's office and see if we should still come in for my 2:30, or go directly to the hospital. They advise me to go to the hospital.

2:30 p.m. - We've made it to the hospital, upstairs to L&D, and into a triage room. My midwife finally comes in, checks me and declares me to be in labor. Cervix fully thinned and at 4 cm (up from 2 cm and 80-90% earlier in the week).

3:00 p.m. - We've moved into an actual L&D room. Jack is starting to call our families, now that we know it's not just a practice run. My midwife starts a bubble bath for me, then breaks my water and reports I'm now up to 5 cm. I get into the bath tub while she notifies the O.B. on call from our practice, and asks him to be with us around 5:00.

3:40 p.m. - My midwife notices a change in how I'm handling my contractions. Asks what I'm feeling. I'm feeling more cervix pressure, rather than belly contractions. She advises me to get out so she can check my progress, and sends an update to the OB: come now.

3:55 p.m. - After a failed attempt to empty my bladder, I've made it back to my bed and my midwife determines I am fully dilated and ready to push. (Seriously?? It's been an hour since I was admitted!) The room is ready for delivery - sterile table, ultrasound machine (to check Graham's presentation), two bassinets and an increasing medical staff. I'm asked if I want to go through with the epidural (I will write a separate post about this decision), and we proceed with it as planned. The anesthesiologist places the line and gives me two syringes of medicine, but does not connect a drip to the line.

4:00 p.m. - I'm allowed to start pushing. By now, my room contains two midwives, a midwife student, an O.B., four nurses (two for me and two for the babies), an anesthesiologist on his way out, plus Jack and myself.

5:01 p.m. - Grant is officially out. They put him on my chest, and I can't believe how tiny he is! But he is crying and perfectly fine. The O.B. observes Graham's movement on the ultrasound, and confirms he's fallen perfectly into head-down position. Green light to proceed! The midwife who delivered Ellyson (who is not on call, but has come to see the babies born anyway) brings a swaddled Grant back to me, so that he can be by my side as his brother is born. My midwife steps back and allows the midwife student to step in. She breaks Graham's water, I rest for a couple minutes, and then start pushing again.

5:42 p.m. - Graham is delivered. He is not as vocal. After lying on my chest for Jack to cut his cord, he's taken to his bassinet for cleanup. He is crying some, but not much. They keep him agitated to help clear his lungs.

5:45 and 5:46 p.m. - I deliver the two placentas separately and intact. Thank goodness. Sometimes they come out fused, in which case they're the size of another baby. They also often come out torn, and then the doctor has to reach in and sweep out any remaining pieces. But no need for that!

Graham did receive a little extra attention for his breathing, but nothing worrisome. A NICU nurse came to check him, but didn't have to take him. Both had to have their blood glucose levels checked every three hours for the first 12 hours, since they were born before 37 weeks. But they got the all-clear on that front, too.

Introducing Grant and Graham

Prepping for Babies

I've been quiet this week. We've been spending lots of time prepping for the twins ... packing bags, posting lists and instructions, making sure snack bins and refrigerators are stocked ... waiting for my belly to hit 48" around. Doesn't look like that's going to happen. We're at 47", and I don't think we're going to stick it out long enough to grow another inch. Oh well. It's time. I've spent the last two days pretty much lounging on the couch, only getting up to take care of the kids when they need fed, changed or put down for naps (and for my own potty breaks). In fact, I've created a bad habit. Ellyson walks into the living room, climbs onto the sofa, leans back, remote in hand, and says "Minnie, Minnie, Minnie!" Sounds like we have a TV habit to break ... as soon as I get some energy back.

Hopefully, in the next 24-36 hours, I can report that we have two more healthy children in our family. Warning: I am posting bare-belly photos below. It's something I've avoided until this point. Luckily, the camera isn't close enough to see all the stretch marks, veins and shininess of my skin.

36-week Checkup ... and Lots of Updates

Lots to report.

Both are head down. (Happy dance!?) Grant is engaged for labor. The sonographer, nurses, midwives and OBs are astounded that both did a 180 in the last 10 days. No scheduled c-section, so I'm returning to St. Mary's, which is the hospital where Ellyson was born.

Dilated to 2 centimeters. Effaced 90 percent. Midwife thinks a couple good contractions will send me into labor.

Blood pressure is elevated a little, but is "normal for a twin pregnancy" ... compared to my normal.

Grant is measuring 5 pounds 14 ounces. Graham is measuring 5 pounds 10 ounces. But each could be up to a pound heavier. Hard to get an accurate reading due to limited space.

Grant's amniotic fluid level appears to be low. I have to go back on Thursday for a BPP to verify his levels. The ultrasound showed the level at 3.9. The minimum "normal" reading is 5.0. His fluid might actually be closer to 5, and it might just be "hiding" because of his low position, but based on the 3.9, she's pretty confident it isn't higher than 5.0. (Graham's, by comparison, is a healthy 10.) So she will take new readings and run some other scans on Thursday. If today's readings are confirmed, I will be induced then. If his levels are higher than what they read today, I am still borderline, and will be given the option to be induced at that time anyway. If I decline, I return next Monday.

So in short, the window just narrowed. I am guessing they will arrive between this Friday and next Tuesday.

Little Mommy

Ellyson has become quite the little mommy around here. She carries around and cuddles a few dolls (including a stuffed pig - shown in the swing above). She pats their backs, giggles with them, and even swings them in the infant swing ... that part baffles me, because to my knowledge, she has never seen an infant swing in use. She also has had very limited exposure to babies in general. So I'm chalking this up to a natural instinct. Maybe I will have two mommy's helpers on my hands soon! (Please forgive the fact that the baby not swinging, is lying face-down on the floor. I didn't say I'd trust her to watch a baby on her own yet!)

36 Weeks

Here we go ... probably my last "weeks" update, since I'll deliver between 37 and 38 weeks.

Total weight change: +35 pounds (FYI - "recommended" for twins is 37-54 pounds). My waist, on the other hand, is at +20-1/2" (up from 26" to 46-1/2"). I guess I'll clear a four-foot waist before the boys come.

Baby weights: Approx. a little more than 6 lbs. each (will get updates on Monday)

Exercise: Walking to the mailbox is about as much as I can stand. Strength training consists of lifting E in to and out of her crib. Oh, and every 60-90 minutes during the night, when I have to climb out of bed to use the bathroom ... yeah, that works my ab muscles enough to qualify as a workout. I mean, tallying babies, fluids and placentas, I'm literally pulling a 20-pound weight on the front of my belly.

Other notes: I can't really sleep. I'm up every 60-90 minutes for the bathroom ... and then around 5 a.m., my lower back hurts so bad that I can't get comfortable in any position - sitting or lying down. The pain is equivalent to the earlier part of my first two labors, except that it doesn't come in waves like contractions, and it does subside once I've been out of bed for about an hour. Then there's the acid relux, which is pretty much a constant. I eat Tums all day long. Swelling in my hands and feet have reached the can't-put-on-my-wedding-ring level, and my fingers feel arthritic. My sciatica (pregnancy induced) flares up all day long now, and it leaves me doubled-over in pain more than once a day. And then there's the growing pressure on my tailbone, pelvic bone and ... pretty much everything else in that area. I am excited to wash my hands or reach into E's crib again, without having to turn my midsection to the side.

So I'm pulling for only one more week of this. Yeah, recovery is going to be rough this time. But I'm ready to just get on with it.

What - that little belly?

At the Starbucks drive-through one day this week (Yes, I drink coffee while pregnant. I didn't with Carter, but have with the other two. I stay well below the limits imposed by the doctors and the experts.), the barista jokingly told me I need to lay off the Frappuccinos because they're going straight to my belly. I laughed and he was relieved - he said he was afraid I might be offended. To be honest, it was a welcomed change from the normal:

Stranger: When are you due?
Me: A few weeks. (Or 2-3 weeks.)
Stranger: Wow. Do you know what you're having?
Me: Yep, two boys. (I really should stop at "yep.")
Stranger: Oh, wow. First?
Me: Nope. Third and fourth.
Stranger: Wow, you're going to have your hands full.
Me: Yep.
Stranger: I hope you have lots of help!
Me: We do.

Seriously, I repeat that conversation nearly verbatim, at least five times a week. And so often, I'm tempted to reply to the initial question (especially at restaurants) with "what do you mean?" just to avoid the whole thing. So having the Starbucks drive-through employee joke about it, was really refreshing.

Nesting

Jack has been crossing tasks off his "daddy-do" list. In addition to rearranging the van last week, he now has set up the new crib in the nursery, and the new pack-and-play on the first floor of the house. So now, officially, the babies can come home. The nursery is actually starting to resemble a nursery, too!

I hate hospitals.

I was reminded of this fact on Saturday. We toured another hospital's L&D unit. A potential last-minute venue change. I love the hospital where E was born. I also loved our experience there, which really helps paint a rosy picture. But it just didn't feel like a hospital. And it had the facilities that I wanted, to help accommodate the labor/birth I wanted. And it was great. Yes, I spent hours and hours in that bath tub (and, as Jack likes to remind me, nearly two hours squatting over a toilet - not using it - but just bearing down in a position that was comfortable). The plan involved returning to this hospital for the natural delivery of our third (and - oops - fourth) baby as well. But the last few weeks have slowly shattered that glass for me. The reality of what labor will be like - the fact that if I choose to remain unmedicated, I could end up under general anesthesia ... then the fact that I've been officially marked with "c-section".

So on Friday, I met with the senior midwife at the practice. And we talked c-sections. My chart officially wears the scarlet letter "C" now, though it could still change - haha, though it's like a <5% chance - if Grant turns head-down before my final ultrasound, a week from today. But because I've hit "term" and could go into labor, my chart needs to indicate that I should be delivered by section.

Anyway, she told me that the other hospital in town (our practice uses both hospitals, and it is the patient's choice) actually has better surgical setup, and she highly recommends using this other hospital for a c-section. They offer a "family-centered" c-section option at the patient's request. In a family-centered section, the goal is to keep the family unit together. In a traditional c-section, as soon as the baby comes out, and is shown to Mom, the baby goes to the nursery for its vitals while Mom gets stitched up. In a family-centered section, the baby - as long as it isn't in distress - is swaddled and then handed to Mom. Mom can even bring the baby to the recovery room with her.

There are a handful of other differences in the "family-centered" procedure, like the midwife playing a more active role and the surgical curtain being lowered for a better view. But mostly, it's the babies staying with Mom and Dad, that has us interested in this style Caesarean.

So, it looks like we'll probably be changing hospitals for this delivery.

Word of the Week: Go!

E is always on the move. It's just this age, right? I think so. Now that she has discovered she can be independent (and has a big brother to keep up with), she loves to run, run, run. If I tell her it's time to go upstairs, she yells "go!", runs to the stairs, and starts climbing them. If I tell her it's time to go put on her shoes, she yells "go!", and tries to put her shoes on her feet.

With all this growing lately, she certainly has developed into a toddler instead of a baby - and not a month too soon, all things considered ... I would probably be a little sad about her not being a baby anymore, if I weren't expecting two new babies this month.

Here are her new big-girl activities ...

She uses play kitchen tools (and Carter's play tools) to do hair. I actually enjoy this mother-daughter interaction, until she starts hammering on my head. Unfortunately, Daddy was mostly getting hammered here.

She cuddles with "M'nnie".

She is exploring the idea of napping in a toddler bed. Though for the first few days that it was in her room (both the crib and toddler bed are in there now), she would point to it and say "uh-oh!"

She does something she isn't supposed to do (like playing with the baby swing), then giggles and runs.

She sometimes eats at Carter's kids' tables ... at our house and at Nana's.

She has successfully napped on Carter's inflatable toddler travel bed at Nana's house. (Hooray - one less pack and play to send to Nana's!)

Over It!

I am so over being pregnant. It literally hurts my belly skin, for me to bend over. I'm down to four shirts that actually cover my belly - and even those now show a little skin as the bottom rides up throughout the day. I've tried the next-bigger size, but those shirts aren't actually any longer - just bigger around, so they don't cover me any better. Yay. I can't sleep because lying down brings on the indigestion, and my bladder wakes me every 90 minutes (except last night, when it was every 60-70 minutes ... and most nights, there's one middle-of-the-night wakeup from Carter as well - apparently he has forgotten how to use the bathroom connected to his room, and no matter what I tell him, he keeps coming to get me).

If I don't prop up my feet in the afternoon, then they are uncomfortably swollen by bed time. (But to date, there hasn't been a day when I couldn't wear my wedding ring - just one day when I left off the wider engagement ring.) And if I do lie down to prop up my feet, then the acid reflux kicks in to high gear.

And then there's the fact that, at least twice a day, one or both older siblings decide to "snuggle" or just plain belly-flop onto their little brothers. Which usually ends in retaliation (kicking, flailing arms and sometimes straight-up rotations) from the littlest one, and I'm caught in the middle. Yeah, I'm over that, too.

So, yeah, it would be perfectly fine with me if these little boys get impatient and come a couple weeks early. It just isn't natural for a (human) woman to carry 11 pounds (and counting) of baby in her belly.

But, for the record, here's an updated belly picture (photos courtesy of Carter). I'll have Jack take a better one for me to post at 36 weeks. I'm sure there will be some change in that 10-day period.

An aside ... Jack thinks I should wear a shirt that says "Has anyone seen my belly button?" because I haven't seen it with my own eyes, in a couple months. It's so far below the crest of my belly, that I can't even see it sticking out. Only the belly photos and Ellyson's insistence upon playing with it, actually remind me it's still there.

And, by request, here is one of me from the back.

Okay, I'm finished complaining now.

Wordless Wednesday

Thank You

For the first time, I got Carter involved in writing his thank-you notes for his birthday. It took three weeks and I spent many mornings pulling teeth to try to get him to write something, but he finally finished (they have not all been delivered yet, though ...)

By the end, he was actually doing pretty well. For some of the longer names, I wrote the names for him. I was even going to attempt making him fit "Uncle Brad, and Meredith and Braden" or other combinations of names across that top line.

Too many car seats!

... and other items checked off the to-do list.

This weekend, a healthy dose of reality set in at the Dillard house. Jack got my car washed, then rearranged the second row of the van, so that we can fit two infant seats and two convertible seats, while still able to access all four. His reaction? "Well, if that's not a reality check, I don't know what is."

We also finished (yes, finished - you can be jealous later) back-to-school shopping for Carter and E. School supplies, new book bags and lunch boxes, a few wardrobe refreshers, etc ... done, done and done. Don't worry: while the rest of you are running through Target in a couple weeks, I will be confined to a hospital room.

We picked up a handful of preemie-sized outfits for G&G. I'm keeping the tags on and the receipt clipped to them, but they are going to the hospital with us - along with a complete set of newborn-size clothes.

We finished shopping for the big-brother and big-sister goodie bags that C and E will receive from G and G.

I finished sorting clothes and supplies to go in overnight bags for Ellyson, myself, G&G. Nothing is actually packed in bags yet, but sitting in neat stacks next to the bags. Carter and Jack will pack later because they can't (don't want to) remove four outfits each from their wardrobes, for the next three weeks. I can because they're sizes I'm not wearing - and E can because she just started wearing her 18M wardrobe, and she doesn't know the difference if a particular dress suddenly is out of the rotation. ;-)

Oh, and Carter and Jack (and Carter's Uncle Brad) went to see Brave. Carter liked it, and did great, especially considering he drank a Powerade Zero and had to make five trips to the potty.

34 Weeks

A brief 34-week update ...

I had my (now weekly) checkup on Friday. No ultrasound this time - not until 36-1/2 weeks. But aside from that, to summarize the appointment:

Grant seems to be still breech.

The boys should be weighing just a bit more than five pounds apiece now.

My blood pressure is not only fine, but very good - 120/68.

My mild swelling doesn't even warrant a note in my chart.

My cervix is still closed up tight.

All of the above amounts to ... no bed rest for this mama.

I saw a different midwife this time (I've seen her before, but she isn't the one who gave me the delivery room run-down last time). She wanted to know how I felt about everything I'd learned last time, and reassured me about some of my disappointments (the whole using-meds scenario). I've said it before and I'll say it again - I just love the midwives I see. The fact that she even wanted to hear my feelings on what I'd been told, I think, speaks volumes to the fact they are in tune with their patients. I could be wrong, but I felt like the OBs I saw with Carter, would never have asked me a question like that; they didn't even really care to know that I didn't want meds.

Blackberry Cupcakes

With our abundance of blackberries last week, I decided to make some blackberry cupcakes. The inspiration came from a local bakery, which had some unbelievable blackberry cupcakes in May. The recipe was all mine.

I made a white cake (boxed) mix with chopped blackberries stirred in. I cooked a blackberry compote with chopped berries, sugar and blackberry jam - then filled the scooped-out cupcakes with it.

Then I altered my strawberry buttercream frosting recipe to use blackberries instead of strawberries ... frosted and garnished with a fresh berry. They were really good. I even put them in red, white and blue wrappers.

Word of the Week: Hot

The last seven days have been so incredibly hot. But last Sunday, in the 105-degree afternoon heat, we took in (the first two innings of) a minor league baseball game, celebrating a friend's 40th birthday.

Ellyson was just happy to have a hot dog.

Happy Independence Day!

To celebrate the Fourth of July, we took the kids to a local parade. My parents joined us, and helped entertain the kids during the unexpected 90-minute train of tractors, antique cars, dance teams, horses and even a couple small bands.

Ellyson's favorite part was, of course, the horses.

Then we had my family over for a traditional cookout and homemade chocolate ice cream - topped off with a patriotic movie, Captain America.

Wordless Wednesday

Callaway

Last weekend, Carter had his first "getaway" without Mom or Dad. He has spent the night at grandparents' houses, and maybe even at Nana and Papa Jack's lakehouse (maybe??) without us, but he had never gone away overnight with anyone else before. So Thursday night, he stayed at Nana and Papa Jack's house. I explained to him that the next day, he'd be going away with them and they would stay at a hotel that night. I thought for security reasons, it probably was best that Mom or Dad lets him know before somebody takes him away. I don't want him to get TOO comfortable just leaving with other people. :)

Friday morning he got up and had a long list of fun things he wanted to do at their house - like riding Papa Jack's four-wheeler. After spending some time crossing things off that to-do list, they took him a couple hours away, to the area near Callaway Gardens. They stayed in a hotel with a pool (where he showed off his new swimming skills), and Saturday they were ready to spend the whole day having fun at Callaway.

They saw the butterfly house, a birds of prey show, a circus and spent some time at the lake/beach. I hear he and Papa Jack were like two little boys, enjoying their summer fun.

When Carter finally got home and Jack tucked him into bed, his eyes were wide open and his mind was elsewhere. He smiled and started telling Jack a random story about something he and Papa Jack had done that afternoon ... he was just so happy. And we are happy that it went well. With the influx of babies coming to this house, it isn't likely to be his last big-brother getaway.